in desperate need of a change...

I made a promise to myself to start blogging atleast once every other day and I have already failed on the commitment to myself. I feel as though I am in a "rut" that will never end. I feel as though I have drifted from who I know "donna stands for" and it saddens me to think that I am just not ME anymore. I want to be able to be happy again...not just semi-happy but REALLY be able to be genuine about my happiness. I know most of my misery comes from my the spiritual warfare that I swear is going on all around me. I am not compelled to read my Bible much less pray and I feel myself everyday falling further and further out of the hands of my loving father---the one person who I know without a doubt loves me for me and wants to see me grow closer to Him and realize the importance of my daily walk. I write all of this to say----sometimes God takes things away and allows suffering in ones life so that people will reach for more of Him and continuously seek Him in the midst of hurt and sadness. I hope that I am able to look back at all of the trials and see that God was there the whole time-I just missed His kind tug on my heart because of the sin taking over!